What Are Communities of Belonging?

When I first began to think about what I wanted to offer clients both on the induvial and organizational level, I kept coming to, I just want people to feel like they belong! That they belong in and to their own lives, that they belong in and to an organizational they help run or lead, that folks can show up exactly who they are and be fully seen, heard, and validated.  

This had been a goal of my own for quite some time. Feeling like I did not belong in my own life, like I was trying to make myself fit into predetermined boxes and check lists. A life where I was not really showing up for myself or for the ones I loved because I was so busy being someone I really was not.

I was inspired to making a shift from feeling like I was just “fitting in” to actually feeling like I fully belonged to my own life when I came across this distinction in Brene Browns book The Gifts of Imperfection. Her research showed her that while many of using fitting in and belong interchangeably, this is not really the case. She writes,

“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require use to change who we are; it requires who to be who we are.”

Too much of my time had been spent on changing myself to be accepted in my own life and in my own workplaces. I had to edit myself, shift myself, create different identities of myself. I was spending all of my time trying desperately to fit myself into what I thought I needed to be rather that letting myself just be.

This took a toll on me mentally, physically, and emotionally. Trying to fit in was not good for me, it was not good for my relationships both personal and professional. It was not good for me as a spouse, as a friend, as a coworker.

What I have come to recognize in myself and in others is that we do a lot better when we feel like we can show up just as we are without edits, without shifts, without changes. When we can be seen and heard and validated for exactly who we are. We are better community members, better partners, better friends, better coworkers and employees, better leaders.  

In creating communities of belonging, I help foster better communication, connection, empowerment, and stronger relationships. Knowing you belong rather than feeling like you are just trying to fit in can make all the difference in our communities at home and our communities at work.

It is at the intersection of letting go of what no longer is working and letting in what is truly meant to be.