I am the Expert of My Own Life.

I still struggle to embody this message myself, but it is such an important one for me to say out loud sometimes. This does not mean I can do it all on my own or that I have it ALL together. I still need help, support, love, understanding, feedback, care, compassion, listening. It just means that no one single person holds all the answers to my own life. I can seek help to navigate questions I have or old patterns and stories I wish to rewrite or retell. I can rely on a compassionate listener to allow me to hear my own words set out loud, to sit with me in the ‘stuff’ that is my life. I can desire validation that my pain or my struggle is real and true.

With a dire need to seek treatment for chronic health issues, to extinguish my anxiety and lift me out of my depression, for years I allowed many people to come into my life claiming expert status proclaiming they had the answers for me. When those answers did not fit me or my life, I became the problem, I was the one who did not follow through, did not work hard enough, did not do enough to make myself “better.” I was often dismissed with things I said or shared that didn’t fit a certain narrative ... “oh that’s not important to this.” I would want to shout -- um it’s important to me, so yes, it is important! But these conversations often came with a not-so-subtle veil of shame that would keep me small and keep me quiet always questioning myself and never trusting what I knew to be true.

People are the experts of their own lives; they hold the most information and understanding about who they are and what they have been through and where they want to be. They may need help accessing it, or putting the pieces together, or seeing the big full picture. I know I did and still do. I have had and still have some wonderful people in my life share their gifts and talents and expertise with me which has been life changing. But reminding myself and trusting myself that deep within I know what is right and what is best for me is a really important piece of the puzzle for my own life.